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That's me on the right (All photos by Steve Boxall, Zero-G)

24,000 feet over the Atlantic, east of Long Island, aboard G-Force One, Boeing 727-200 (likely the only 727 spiffed up with winglets). 30 souls on board.

“First parabola. Mars gravity, one-third of Earth’s gravity. Try some push-ups.”

Oh, piffle. This is nothing [boing boing boing]

“Second parabola. Lunar gravity, one-sixth of Earth’s gravity. Try gentle bounces on your knees.”

Eh. [bounce bounce bounce]

“First zero-g parabola. When I say ‘coming down,” get your feet on the floor and lie down.”

[Profanity] [profanity] [profanity] Jesus Chr—What is THIS? Grab the rope! Hold on!

“Coming down.”

Dive for floor. Don’t move head. Stare at spot on ceiling. Breathe. Breathe.

“Second zero-G.”

EEK! Drifting up. Don’t flail! Be graceful. Float across fuselage. Look out, midair, midair! “Sorry!”

“Coming down.”

WHAM! Gravity returns in spades. Bodies keel over like bowling pins.

“Next zero-G.”

Wheeeee! Look, it’s raining M&Ms. An orb of water wobbles by. Someone gobbles it up. Laughter. Squeals. Shrieks.

“Coming down.”

Uh-oh. Pinned against ceiling. Not good. Grab the rope. GRAB THE ROPE! WHOMP! [Profanity]

“Next zero-G.”

Why am I not swanning around, serene and composed and gymnastic, like the women in the promo video? Try a spin. Why is the airplane flying sideways? Are we doing a barrel roll? We all look like a school of uncoordinated fish.

“Coming down.”

Am I scared? Is this fun?

“Next zero-G.”

Oh! Oh! I get it! I GET IT! Easy…easy. Sweep arms back. Swan dive. Yes! Bank left. Don’t hit the floor! WHEEEEEE!

“Next zero-G.”

Hold on to the rope. Somersault. Cartwheel. Back flip. WOO-HOO!

“Coming down.”

Ooh. Sick sacks are out. Some people are not at all happy. Don’t stare.

“Last zero-G. Make it last!”

Nooooo! Not when I’m just getting the hang of it! Wow, this is a LONG one. Spin. Tumble. Cartwheel.

“Coming down. Okay, everybody sit up against the wall.”

Just about everyone is as limp as a deflated balloon.

Man, I could use a cigarette.

NOTE: We did 15 parabolas; not all are accounted for here.

To book your Zero-G flight: www.gozeroG.com